Being self-aware is essential to living for the glory of God. The Scripture says that all things are to be done for God’s glory. The problem is we are easily self-deceived. This is where self-awareness comes in. How well do we understand ourselves? How can we help our children gain self-awareness? A young child may reason that a cookie will make her happy. The desire for the cookie overrides the command from mom not to have the cookie till after supper. On the surface this appears to be a simple matter of behavior. The desire for the cookie wins out over obedience. However, on the heart-level, complex patterns are at work. We are born with a nature that is at […]
Ruling Desires
112 posts
Kevin, a young teenage boy has an opportunity to be alone with Tiffany, a girl with a reputation of being sexually active. If he thinks that he might get caught and his parents will find out, or that he might get a sexually-transmitted disease, he might decide not to be alone with her. However, suppose she entices him into thinking that no one will find out (see Proverbs 7) and that a little fun never hurt anyone. Then, he might be persuaded to be alone with her. Kevin’s problem is that he is being motivated by perceived consequences rather than how he can love God. Selfishly deciding not to be with Tiffany because of negative consequences will ultimately lead to […]
Confidence comes from not trusting yourself. That is not a popular thought but it is a true one. Having confidence in what you have been taught is different than trusting yourself. Your children, by God’s grace, have much too unlearn. A quick look at Galatians 5:19-21 should settle this issue. Proverbs 3:5&6 is a familiar passage that warns against trusting yourself and your own understanding. Verse six links trusting God with acknowledging God in every thing you do. Here are the verses: Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. The depth of the word […]
Our youth are falling prey to sexual sin and sensuality. However, the reason for these sins started much earlier in their life. Following is a lightly edited revison of a recent post on self-pity. Driven by self-pity, Amnon became a sexual predator. He was a disgusting, pathetic, miserable young man. He is someone you need to understand. The Holy Spirit has something for you to learn regarding Amnon. The core information about Amnon is written in 2 Samuel 13:2. All of the other events in this sad narrative flow from this one observation: “Amnon became so obsessed with his sister Tamar that he made himself ill. She was a virgin, and it seemed impossible for him to […]
Amnon was a disgusting, pathetic, miserable young man. Driven by self-pity he became a sexual predator. He is someone you need to understand. Romans 15:4 tells us that whatever was written in Scripture was written for our instruction. So, as unpleasant as it is, the Holy Spirit has something for you to learn regarding Amnon. The core information about Amnon is written in 2 Samuel 13:2. All of the other events in this narrative flow from this one observation: “Amnon became so obsessed with his sister Tamar that he made himself ill. She was a virgin, and it seemed impossible for him to do anything to her.” Obviously Amnon was sexually obsessed with Tamar. But if this […]
Christians sometimes struggle to make the Bible practical or real. Here is one reason that the practicality of God’s word is difficult for us. We miss the obvious illustrations that the Bible does provide to help us see how practical it is. For example look at Psalm 119:72: “The law from your mouth is more precious to me than thousands of pieces of silver and gold.” One translation says the amount should be stated as millions in gold and silver. Now how many of us think that life would be much easer to manage if our bank accounts contained millions of dollars? We would probably think that if this happened our problems would be over. The Holy […]
Sometimes the Bible’s directness takes us by surprise. If my focus is to raise my child using God’s discipline and instruction, then my words will be few, clear, pleasant, direct, convicting, and building. The more I talk the more I run the risk of muddying the waters with my opinions. Proverbs 18:2 is a humbling reality to those of us who use many words: Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions. Ouch, at least for me and maybe some of you as well. The last thing I should want for my children is for them to conform to my standards. If your child has been unkind or selfish, then this is what […]
Loving God enough to end rage, anger, inner seething, and resentment is not a matter of simply saying no to bad behavior. If you or your children have been controlled by patterns of anger, there is only one way to address this attitude of the heart that will bring lasting change. When anger becomes a way of life you know It is wrong. You can deeply want to change. You know your anger hurts others. But just knowing these facts will not remove anger from your heart and life. In the last post we looked at Ephesians 4:31 and 32 as a model for addressing anger. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with […]
Sometimes the deceitfulness of the world, the flesh, and the devil entices us to feel good about our anger. So when a child, a teenager, a spouse, or a friend crosses an arbitrary line we feel totally justified in letting them “have it.” We cover our sin by saying, “I know I shouldn’t be angry, but sometimes you just have to say enough is enough.” This sort of language and rationalization will receive a hearty Amen from the Satanic cheering section. We think we have been strong, when in fact we have taken the coward’s way out and indulged in capitulation. The same plan worked on Eve and it is just as effective with angry parents. We do what seems […]
You have found out your teenager is caught in pornography. How should you respond? Yes, he has been disobedient. Yes, he has been disrespectful. Yes, pornography is nasty stuff and ungodly at its core. But he, or she, has been trashed and played by lies that deceive and cheapen his very soul. Pornography runs deep, straight to the heart. Your teenager knows that he has been wrong. But he has also been played for a fool. No, he is not a victim. Pornography, was his own wretched choice. But simply telling him he was wrong, imposing consequences, and being personally hurt is exactly what the enemy wants you to do. As Colossians 2:23 teaches these actions, by themselves, are of […]