I Corinthians 13 has some important things to say about how love your kids in a way that blesses them and brings honor to God. Here are some examples: Love is patient That is what Paul means in Ephesians 6:4 when he calls upon fathers not to provoke their children to anger. This means that love is not a knee-jerk reaction when things don’t go well. Loving your children means understanding them and anticipating how obedience to your direction will be a challenge for them. Don’t be frustrated with their struggles. You are in the process of calling them from death to life. Love is kind Kind actions and pleasant words are the language of the gospel. Don’t allow busy, […]
Teenagers
144 posts
It is important not to miss the struggles your teenager faces each day. She is often functioning without immediate and constant parental supervision. New and sometimes dangerous influences enter his life. This is the scary part. It is no secret that sex, drugs, pornography, bullying and gambling have all made their way into the teenage world. So what can you do to shepherd your teenager without giving them a lie detector test each afternoon and attaching a body cam and GPS to them? Here is one answer: Become an epic listener! Here are some practical ways to become an epic listener: Fall in love with Proverbs 18:13. Don’t form responses in your mind or with your words until you have […]
What causes stress with your teenager? The easy answer is that if your teenager was more respectful, if he would just do half of the things you asked, if she would actually listen, if you mattered half as much as the phone, things would not be so stressful. Of course there are some things that you need to work on, but the bottom line is your teenager specializes in making life difficult. The problem here is the assumption that the teenager is in control. Everything is dependent upon the teenager doing what is wanted or expected. The parent’s action is controlled by what the teenager does instead of what God commands. Really? Yes, really. James says that fights and quarrels […]
Josiah became King of Judah when he was eight years old. At the time, Judah could not have been more of a spiritual and cultural disaster. Manasseh and his son, Amon, had just concluded 57 of perverse years of leadership. Manasseh set a new standard of wickedness during his reign and his son, Amon, picked up where his father left off. These were dark, dark times. Amon had been king just two years when he was assassinated. Apparently, the people had had enough. They made his young son, Josiah, king. By combining the narratives of Chronicles and Kings we see that even as a teenager, Josiah began to bring reform to a wretched and wicked land. The prophetess Huldah provides […]
Absalom projected the image of power and intimidation. He was angry, arrogant, proud, self-assured and had the presence of a rock star. He was consumed with his appearance to the point of obsession. But inside he was hurting. He had no answer for the pain in his heart due to the rape of his sister. He had no comfort for the lack of relationship with his father, King David. He had no confidence in the loving-kindness of God; rather, he was convinced he had to make his own way in this world. Absalom used the images of power, good looks, arrogance, and popularity to secure what he thought he wanted. But none of those brought satisfaction. Underneath, he was weak […]
Jesus tells the story of a father and his two sons. The father asks his first son to go work in the vineyard. The first son responds with a defiant no. So, the father asks his other son the same question. This son, in sharp contrast, respectfully says that he will do what his father asked. So, on the surface of things, it appears one son is rebellious and one is obedient. This much is true, but not in the way it appears. In the story Jesus quickly adds that the first son changed his mind and actually did as he was asked. The other son never went to the vineyard. After telling this story, Jesus asked his listeners which […]
Most would agree that social media and the internet are places where dangers lurk. So it might be tempting to say the solution is to avoid cyber-space altogether. But that would be unwise. Consider this. Driving a vehicle is also fraught with dangers. There are unsafe drivers in abundance. Driving to places of temptation is always an option. One’s self-image and self-worth can easily attached to the type of vehicle driven. Lack of attention can cause loss of property, injury and even death! The unexpected is always around the next turn. And of course, a parent’s nightmare, the car is an opportunity for sexual immorality. Even with all of these negative possibilities we still encourage our children to drive. Why, […]
Being lonely is a dangerous. Being lonely and misunderstood is a train-wreck waiting to happen. It is huge that you take the time to know your children. Especially your teenagers. Here is an example of a young woman who was both lonely and misunderstood. Her problems didn’t start in college, but had roots in her younger teen years. She looked like she was doing well – but underneath she was lonely, wanting to be known. She wasn’t prepared for temptation that came from a “safe” place. This combination will allow for temptation to be reasoned with, just as Eve attempted to do long ago in the garden. Here is Kate’s story: Kate was a good Christian girl from a strong […]
Your ten-year-old son picks up the daily newspaper left laying on the kitchen table. No one has had an opportunity to actually read the paper yet. Your son finds a front page article on sex and TV, complete with enticing photos, and reads about new shows with group sex and nudity. Try to put yourself in his place. Your son needs a game plan about how to handle this information in a way that pleases God and protects him. This situation is exactly what Proverbs 6:20-24 envisions when it describes what godly parental instruction should accomplish for your children. Here is what verse 22 says: When you walk, their counsel will lead you. When you sleep, they will protect you. […]
Suppose someone interviewed your teenager immediately after the two of you had a difficult conversation. What would he say? Would he say that you listened to him respectfully, wanting to fully understand him before you answered? Would she say that you showed thoughtful care for her concerns? Would your teenager say that the words you used were pleasant, encouraging and kind? Most importantly, would your teenager say your words were spoken with humility? Would your teenager think he was the most important person in the conversation? At this point someone might be protesting, “Wait a minute, my kid was being disrespectful to me. He doesn’t deserve to be treated that way!” In Philippians 2, the apostle Paul says this to […]