You just confirmed that your fifteen-year-old son, Justin, has been looking at pornography. Following is an example of a conversation that demonstrates what I Corinthians 13:4-7 looks like in action. See how many positive attributes of love you can find in Dad’s conversation. “Justin, we have to talk about the images you were viewing on the computer.” “Dad, I really don’t want to and I am not going to – it is really none of your business.” “I think I understand why you would say that. I didn’t want to talk to my dad about this stuff either. He caught me looking at a magazine once. He screamed at me and told me never to do it again. He grabbed […]
Teenagers
144 posts
A gentle response to an angry or defiant act seems weak and out of place. The Holy Spirit has a different perspective: A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Proverbs 15:1) The Hebrew word for gentle here means the quality of being tender, soft, delicate in substance. This is not exactly the first response that comes to mind when someone you know or your teenager opposes you. There are two natural responses when this happens. Both are equally wrong and destructive. The first is to fight fire with fire, to let others know you won’t stand for their behavior. The second is to be hurt and withdraw either in fear or humiliation. But the […]
Why do you fight with your teenager? The answer is obvious, right? If your teenager was more respectful, if he would just do half of the things you asked, if she would actually listen, if you mattered half as much as the phone…? Of course there are some things that you need to work on, but the bottom line is your teenager specializes in making life difficult, right??? The problem with this scenario is that this parent is acting like her teenager is in control. Everything is dependent upon the teenager doing what is wanted or expected. The parent’s action is controlled by what the teenager does instead of what God commands. Really? Yes, really. James says that fights and […]
Teenagers are often like Absalom. They present an image of arrogance and power. Yet inside they are hurting. Parents see the power but not the hurt. They may become intimidated and fearful—or angry—at the images their teenagers project. An angry teen is at odds with the God of heaven, and therefore lives with a desperate need for contentment—but he doesn’t know why. Absalom was powerful, handsome, arrogant, winsome and popular. This was the image that he projected and cultivated. However, the image he displayed was not consistent with who he really was. Inside he was hurting. He relied on subversion and raw intimidation to achieve what he wanted. He had no balm for the pain caused by the rape of […]
Jesus was talking to the religious establishment of his day. These leaders should have recognized the Jesus they saw before them. However, they expected a different Jesus. They expected a messiah who would meet their standards and honor them in their hypocrisy. They assumed they would be respected as leaders, that Jesus would acknowledge their wisdom. Jesus did just the opposite. He told them two parables to illustrate their weakness. Sadly and predictably, the establishment crowd continued in their ways, and after hearing the second parable they began to look for ways to arrest Jesus. Here is the first parable: “What do you think? There was a man who had two sons. He went to the first and said, ‘Son, […]
Even teens who appear to be mild and compliant to others can engage in hard-fought battles at home. At the root of many of these battles is a deep-seated perception that they, the teens, are being treated unfairly. When a teenager, or anyone else, focuses only on the injustice that has been done (either real or perceived), his ability to trust God is blocked. Struggling with unjust treatment leaves anyone weary and burdened. The weight of injustice is more than we can bear in our own strength. For example, Absalom bore this weight alone and it eventually destroyed him. Teenagers who bear this burden by themselves may appear intimidating, even menacing. Or, they may be sullen and withdrawn. Christ appeals […]
When someone attacks you, particularly someone close to you, your first response is likely self-protection. If it is, things will go from bad to worse. For example, your 14 year-old says: “All you care about is your stupid rules! You care about your rules more than you do about me! Thanks, a lot for not caring.” You feel hurt, disrespected and defensive. Your child is unable to appreciate the good you are trying to do. The defensive, natural response is to tell your teenager how wrong they are. Your teenager responds by thinking you just proved her point. Things quickly go downhill from here! Nothing less than wisdom from above can address this breakdown. The Holy Spirit describes wisdom from […]
The world’s culture appeals directly to the flesh. It does not ask permission from parents to tempt their teenagers. Apart from the work of the Holy Spirit, the flesh is an intimate gateway for the world’s temptations. The message that the world gives seeks to discredit the biblical message that Christian parents offer. Galatians 5:19-21 & Proverbs 9 teach that the teenager’s flesh willingly listens to the world’s message of subversion. Parents, you must be aware of this warfare! Your call for your teenagers to be pure may be met with a scoffing, mocking world that already has an “in” with your teenager. “But my teenager has made a profession of faith,” you protest. But the battle against the flesh goes […]
You observe your teenager talking a mile-a-minute with friends. Then you think about the typical conversations that you have had with your son or daughter. Instead of a lively back and forth your attempts at conversation tend to collapse into strained monosyllables.: Did you have a good day? Sort of. How was your test? Okay. Do you have homework? Maybe. Do you have plans this weekend? Not sure. Is anything bothering you? No. Did you clean your room? Not yet. I thought maybe we could talk later on. Why. What did you think of the sermon? It was okay. Why are you so hard to talk to? Aw, mom. You respond with a well-intended assessment of how things can be […]
“This is where you must start in teaching your children about sex. Sex is not fundamentally a biological, physiological activity. Sexuality is a necessary aspect of God’s purpose for man to occupy and control the earth for the glory of God. (Genesis 1:26-28) All of the physiological phenomena that happens to the human body while engaging in sexual activity is expressly designed by God to remind husbands and wives that they have been called to unity, intimacy and procreation in their mission to have dominion over the earth. Sexual activity is designed for a man and a woman who are obeying God in marriage in order to bring honor to his name. The idea that sexual pleasure is designed merely […]