Here are three questions you should ask yourself about your communication with those you love. The way you answer these questions provides insight into the areas where your conversations must grow in depth and in maturity. First question: Do your spouse and your children have confidence that they will be able to say all that is on their heart without fear of your response? Is your family accustomed to being cut off or being corrected before they can finish speaking? Do you interrupt because you think you know what is coming? If this is your pattern you are building relational barriers that are difficult to overcome. Those closest to you need to be able to express what is on their […]
Communication
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The wise man (including the wise child) is motivated by the fear of God and the pursuit of wisdom (Proverbs 1:7; 3:11-18). This is an important lesson for children to grasp. For example, a little boy who craves praise may well grow into a husband who will be angry and disappointed when he is not constantly praised. He can easily be prone to self-pity. This can lead to a man who will be withdrawn, sullen, or even abusive. Similarly, a young woman who lives for the praise of others, becomes a target for those who would take advantage of her. Proverbs has some profound things to say about receiving criticism. Solomon warns against living for the praise of others. Learning to […]
Today, precisely at 10:21 a.m. EDT, the Sun will once again pass directly over the equator. If you live in Australia, today means that longer days and warm weather is on the way. If you live in North America, it is just the reverse, shorter days and cooling temperatures. The Lord announces the change of seasons with spectacular outbursts of color. Spring arrives with fresh greens and gorgeous, subtle pastels. Fall is arrives with bold splashes of yellows, reds and golds. The Lord delights in color. He specifically designed you to recognize the visual beauty that accompanies the Sun’s passage across the equator twice each year. Your eyes are portals which allow light to be transmitted to your brain so […]
Communication is part of everyday life. Perhaps nothing else brings such a combination of joy and frustration than the way we communicate with each other. Here are some biblical guidelines to make your commutation more productive and effective. Check your Heart Attitude: Consider others more important than yourself. Philippians 2:3-5 Let love be in control: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. It always protects, always trusts. From 1 Cor. 13:4-7 This passage is not a test to apply to your spouse as a defense, but a reality check for your own heart. Be an Epic Listener: Don’t answer with your words or […]
It is easy to get drawn into the negative side of social media. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Here are some positive guidelines to avoid the negatives and thus benefit from your use of social media. Social media is like the rest of life, exercising wisdom is always essential. When you post: use good judgment, use biblical restraint, do avoid gossip, do speak only what is good and building, do show genuine care for others, remember many people you don’t know may read your words, and do have courage to speak truth. When you view or respond to posts: be patient, show love not irritation, show kindness, don’t bully or mock, determine not to be judgmental, and […]
Your view of obedience controls how you give directions. Strange as it may seem, the way your garbage is taken out can reveal your functional understanding of obedience. The goal is to learn how to give holy, everyday directions that please God and bless your children. Let me begin by asking you two questions: Do you want your children to obey your directions and take out the garbage? You might be thinking, “That’s a strange question; of course I want my children to obey me.” That leads me to the second question. Assuming you want your children to obey you, do you act as if you expect them to take out the garbage? Now you are sure I am asking […]
One of your friends just posted a less than complimentary comment about a politician. You reply back with a similar comment. This touches off a mini-flurry of comments and links that are all centered on the stupidity of anyone even thinking that there may be something good about this person. You sign off with a few emojis thinking it was a good exchange. Is there a problem here? Actually, there is. The problem comes when interactions on social media are viewed as private exchanges between you and the people you are responding to. But that definitely is not the case. For example, say there were 5 people that participated in the news feed exchange mentioned above. This means that potentially […]
Jesus tells the story of a father and his two sons. The father asks his first son to go work in the vineyard. The first son responds with a defiant no. So, the father asks his other son the same question. This son, in sharp contrast, respectfully says that he will do what his father asked. So, on the surface of things, it appears one son is rebellious and one is obedient. This much is true, but not in the way it appears. In the story Jesus quickly adds that the first son changed his mind and actually did as he was asked. The other son never went to the vineyard. After telling this story, Jesus asked his listeners which […]
“Hey mom, Jeremy is upset.” “Okay Sarah, I’ll be right there.” Mom is thinking, “Here we go again. Sarah is always making Jeremy upset. I can’t finish anything without somebody having an issue. I’ll get to it in a moment.” Here is another example:. “Dad, I’m really sorry I messed up and forgot to cut the grass. I’ll get to it right after lunch. Sorry dad.” Inside, dad is losing it. He is thinking, “When will this kid ever grow up and be responsible?” So in a frustrated voice he says, “James, when is this pattern going to change? You need to start being responsible. Don’t make promises you can’t keep!” Dad walks away miffed, “At least I didn’t yell […]
Are you interested in having your children respond gratefully to your instruction? Most parents I know would answer with a tentative yes. Why tentative? Because most believe gratitude and instruction are polar opposites when it comes to instruction. Let’s see if we can change that. Here are three keys that go hand-in-hand with making your instruction a blessing: First: listen before you speak. To be a good listener you must be able to repeat the words you hear back to the speaker in such a way that he can affirm that you really do understand what was said. You don’t always have to agree, but you must always understand. This attentiveness shows respect, first for God and then for your […]