Young children ask questions. Be thankful. As a parent, you want to keep the questions coming. No doubt someone is saying, are you crazy, all I do is answer questions! If you become exasperated with these questions, eventually they will diminish. While this may bring short-term relief, it will also result in a diminished relationship with your children as they become move towards the teenage years. To illustrate: children ask tons of questions. Parents become increasingly frustrated and annoyed with the question barrage. As children grow older they realize their questions are not appreciated, so they look else where. By the time the teenage years arrive, it is the parent’s who are asking the questions and it is the teenagers who […]
Communication
243 posts
In training your children, it is important for you to understand what makes language inappropriate. If you focus only on what is wrong you will miss the mark of bringing honor to God. For example, you compile a list of words that are “bad.” In their place you have a list of words that are acceptable alternatives. For example, words like darn, shoot, heck and doggone it, are seen as acceptable alternatives to their similar sounding bad counterparts. So, when you can’t find your keys, instead of using an unacceptable word, you use the corresponding acceptable word to express your frustration. But does the substitution of words rise to the standard of doing all that you do in the name […]
You may think you know exactly who your enemy is. Your enemy is your unhappy spouse. Your enemy is your stubborn teenager. Your enemy is your ungrateful boss. Your enemy is your friend who said something you don’t like. Your enemy is the economy or the job market. Your enemy is your sickness. In short, you may think life is your enemy. You think you know who you enemy is. Christianity is about hand-to-hand combat. It is important that you identify exactly whom it is that you are fighting! You are likely to believe the enemy is the people and circumstances you encounter. When this happens your energy is spent fighting the wrong target! You need God’s wisdom to identify […]
Being lonely is a dangerous. Being lonely and misunderstood is a train-wreck waiting to happen. It is huge that you take the time to know your children. Especially your teenagers. Here is an example of a young woman who was both lonely and misunderstood. Her problems didn’t start in college, but had roots in her younger teen years. She looked like she was doing well – but underneath she was lonely, wanting to be known. She wasn’t prepared for temptation that came from a “safe” place. This combination will allow for temptation to be reasoned with, just as Eve attempted to do long ago in the garden. Here is Kate’s story: Kate was a good Christian girl from a strong […]
The origin of many personal conflicts comes from the inability to distinguish between opinion and objective fact. If it is only your opinion, then ask God for the grace and humility to hear and understand the opinions of others. Maybe they have something of value you need to hear. If it is only your opinion don’t value your own worth so much that you are willing to cause relational damage just to make your point. A fool finds no pleasure in understanding, but delights in airing his own opinion. (Proverbs 18:2) If what you are presenting is factual then ask God for the patience to present what you think with a quiet and gentle spirit. Pleasant words promote instruction, not […]
Once again, someone in your life has offended you. Your frustration boils over. How many more times will you have to put up with being offended? So, you take matters into your own hands and let the offender know how you feel. You tell him just how annoyed and offended you are. You don’t care if he is your brother or your coworker, enough is enough. Afterwards, you think you feel vindicated, you think you feel better, you think you have stood up for your rights. But something is not right. You still feel edgy and angry. What’s wrong? Doing things your way will always leave you unsettled. God has a different way to handle personal offenses! Here are four […]
Requiring exact, immediate, pleasant obedience is a huge blessing. This establishes the parent’s God-given authority and helps children to see the value of honoring God’s authority. However, it is possible allow children to become the center of the home and allow them to assume command. So it is important to ask, “who’s in charge?” Here is an example, that borders on the absurd, of what happens when a child is in charge: Mom asks her almost six-year-old son, Justin, to open the front door to let some fresh air in through the screen door. Justin replies, “Mommy, I’ll just turn on the fan instead.” “No, I want you to open the door now.” “Mommy, please can we just turn on […]
Fights come naturally, you were born to fight. It is time to stop being surprised that you and the people you love are inclined to fight. Since the Garden, we all have a part of Cain embedded in us. So the question is not why do you fight, but how can you stop fighting. Here is at least one answer: consider others, especially the ones you are fighting with, as more important than yourself. That is always your first thought when you fight, right? You automatically consider the other person more important than you are. The reason this sounds awkward and uncomfortable is because you are more willing to listen to the voice of Cain rather than the voice of […]
I didn’t mean that! How many times have those words raced out of your mouth? Your heart vainly hopes to intercept the deadly verbal missiles launched from that same mouth only moments before. Despite your desperate attempt to stop the flight of those missiles, it is too late. They have found their targets. Devastating damage has been done. In shame, you realize you can’t undo your careless words. In James 3, the Holy Spirit reminds you just how ugly and devastating careless words can be. These words are like the tiny floating spark that leaps from an unguarded fire and ignites a whole forest. This spark is from the fires of hell! So, if you can’t get back your destructive […]
It’s campaign season. Which means it’s promise-breaking season. But politicians aren’t the only ones who make promises that can’t or won’t be kept. The pursuit of pleasure promises freedom but leads to slavery. Hard work promises fulfillment but often leads to hard times and broken relationships. Possessions promise contentment, but often result in disappointment and envy. Education promises answers, but leaves us with more questions. King David believed the promise offered by his lustful glance at Bathsheba would bring him satisfaction. How did that work out for him? The modern world is not so different than the ancient world. This is the message that you are to tell your children. You must prepare your children for a world which […]