Encouragement is not primarily about solving problems. Encouragement builds relationships. It is primarily about engaging in thoughts and activities that bring honor to God. In Philippians 4:8-9, Paul urges you to focus on things that are excellent and praiseworthy. Here are two practical examples of doing this: Two young children are fussing and complaining. Negative response: “Why can’t you two just be quiet! Being noisy and fussy is a distraction to everybody in this house. I don’t want to hear any more unpleasantness, and I mean it! Do you understand?!?” Response that encourages: “God’s Word says that we should be thankful for each other. Do you remember how we talked about things we can be thankful for about each other? […]
Communication
243 posts
Failure to discern who is a genuine, true friend and who is not, leads to being manipulated and used. This may result in, among many other things, bitterness and a crippling inability to trust others. The Holy Spirit has provided tools in Scripture to help you recognize genuine friendship. This is an essential life skill for you and your children. The Proverbs offer reliable observations about friendship. For example look at Proverbs 12:18: “The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” These words provide insight about how to distinguish between the wise and the reckless. The reckless or rash person’s words hurt and bring pain. They cut deeply. When someone claims to […]
Suppose someone interviewed your teenager immediately after the two of you had a difficult conversation. What would he say? Would he say that you listened to him respectfully, wanting to fully understand him before you answered? Would she say that you showed thoughtful care for her concerns? Would your teenager say that the words you used were pleasant, encouraging and kind? Most importantly, would your teenager say your words were spoken with humility? Would your teenager think he was the most important person in the conversation? At this point someone might be protesting, “Wait a minute, my kid was being disrespectful to me. He doesn’t deserve to be treated that way!” In Philippians 2, the apostle Paul says this to […]
Wisdom teaches your child that telling the truth is more than just saying things that are true. Being truthful means speaking accurately, without exaggerating or being misleading. Your child needs wisdom to be truthful. Truth telling is a conscious effort to supply accurate information that honors God and not self. It is possible to say things that are accurate and still hide the truth. This is the distinction that you must teach to your children. No child is born wise. Wisdom is a skill that must be acquired. If you are waiting for your child to grow up and begin to make wise choices, you will be waiting a long time. In order to be truthful, wisdom is required. This […]
It is important not to miss the struggles your middle schooler faces each day. She is beginning to function without immediate and constant parental supervision. New and sometimes dangerous influences enter his life. This is the scary part for parents. It is no secret that sex, drugs, pornography, bullying and even gambling have made inroads into middle schools. So what can you do to shepherd your middle school children without giving them a lie detector test each afternoon and attaching a body cam and GPS to them? Here is one answer: Become an epic listener! Here are some practical ways to become an epic listener: Fall in love with Proverbs 18:13,15 Listen for what is not said, in addition to […]
Regardless of your method of schooling your children will have schoolwork to do at home. How you interact with your children while they are doing schoolwork has a huge impact on your relationship with them. Here are some positive ways you can interact with your kids and their schoolwork. Schoolwork issues generally fall into one or more of these three categories: speed, neatness, and accuracy. Undergirding these three categories is the truth that all things must be done to the praise and glory of God. Here is an acronym you can use to help guide your children in doing their schoolwork: Schoolwork is a S.N.A.P. Speed means that work must be attacked diligently and consistently without interruptions. Neatness is a […]
Here is the third and last post about choosing to love your children biblically from I Corinthians 13: Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in truth… Faithful instruction and correction can easily be misunderstood. This is particularly the case when parental authority is being exercised. When correcting your children you can give them the impression that you are delighting in their failure. Since disciplined training in righteousness must be thorough and ongoing, a child may think that the only purpose a parent has is to delight in telling them how wrong he is. This is where you have to look at your child’s world through his eyes. It is huge that in the process of correction, your words […]
As we learned from the previous post, choosing love is much more than a warm feeling. Paul continues to show what it looks like to really love your children in I Corinthians 13: Love is not self-seeking Love is about not putting yourself first. It is vital that your children see that you are living a life of sacrifice to God, just as you are asking them to do. The goals you set for your home must first and foremost reflect God’s direction in his Word. This cannot be done by indulging your own preferences. Sports, music, academic excellence, a quiet home life, and neatness, etc. are all examples of worthwhile activities. But there is no commandment that says your […]
God is specific about how he wants you to love your children. I Corinthians 13 offers practical help: Love is patient Patience is the fruit of the Spirit. This means that love is not a knee-jerk reaction when things don’t go well. Loving your children means understanding and anticipating that obedience to biblical direction will be a challenge. Being patient means that you are sensitive to reality of spiritual warfare. Don’t be frustrated with their struggles – think carefully, and remember that love is patient. You are in the process of calling them from death to life. Love is kind If parents’ lives are to be dominated by love for their children, then it follows that kindness must also be […]
Parents, God calls you to have an open love affair with his word. The open overflow of your love for God and his word is to be talked about all through the day in all kinds of situations. This is described in Deuteronomy 6:5-7. Here are four principles to draw from these verses: First – God is to be loved with every fiber of your inner being and with every thought of your heart. Second – The commands of God are to dominate your inner man, your heart. Third – It is these thoughts that flow from your passionate love for God that are to be given to children, so that you can’t help but repeat them constantly. Fourth – […]