It may be possible to control behavior. However, control of the heart is another matter. As Tedd Tripp teaches, you can shepherd your child’s heart. But you cannot control his heart. So the purpose of your authority as a parent is to shepherd your children, to build them up, to strengthen them. But attempts as controlling children without shepherding them will lead to frustration. Over time attempts at control through rules will lead your children away from Christ (Colossians 2:23). Controlling your children in this way will weaken them and tear them down. Paul in 2 Corinthians 13:10 says that God gave him authority for building up and not for tearing down. This is important. As a parent, you want […]
Parenting
598 posts
Are my children going to heaven? This is the major concern for every Christian parent. If you look to human confirmation for the answer, life will quickly become a roller-coaster ride of ups and downs. The eternal destiny of our children is tied to the faithfulness of God. God alone does what is right and good. God alone, is the savior of people, including our children. As much as we may want to, we cannot force our children to know God. Ultimately the hearts of our children can only be reached by the grace of God. They cannot earn their way to heaven. Our children, like us, began life as God’s enemies (Ephesians 2:1-3). But God is rich in mercy. […]
Mom: “Stop bothering your sister.” Josh: “Why?” Mom: “Because it upsets her.” Josh: “Good, she needs to be upset. It’s what she does to me!” Mom: “God says you should be nice to her.” Josh: “Well, then, you should tell her to try being nice. It’s not like I am hurting her or anything.” Mom: “But that is not how it works. You should do what God wants no matter how your sister responds.” Josh: “So, what do I do when you get mad and yell at me?” Josh: “You shouldn’t talk to me like that!” Josh: “Why? I am not being disrespectful or mad, I just asked you a question.” Mom: “You just shouldn’t. Look I have to take […]
Gentleness is God’s answer to conflict. Gentleness is the quality you need to present God’s truth fairly, accurately and effectively to your children. Gentleness is part of the Holy Spirit’s fruit which stands in direct contrast to the works of the flesh. In Proverbs, we learn that gentleness turns aside wrath. Paul tells Timothy to instruct his opponents with gentleness. James describes gentleness as displaying wisdom from above. Jesus describes himself as gentle and humble of heart. These are five robust examples of the power of gentleness: Gentleness stands against the deeds of the flesh. Gentleness turns aside wrath. Gentleness instructs those who oppose you. Gentleness demonstrates wisdom from above. Gentleness describes the heart of Christ. Gentleness is the forgotten […]
“Mommy, Heather was so mean to me today at school. She laughed at me and told me I look dumb. I thought she was my best friend! I am really, really sad. I just want to stay home and not go back, ever.” Your daughter has just experienced how cruel and sad life can be. Your first thought is to protect and defend her from the cruel words. But, then you want to see how God can use this to prepare your daughter for the difficult challenges that life will bring to her. You want her to know that through the hurt she can know and experience joy and the comfort of God. What brings joy to you profoundly impacts […]
Is it wrong to be bored? Given that boredom is a common complaint, especially with children, this is an important question. When your children announce that they are bored, how can you respond in the way that is most helpful to them? Often the response to an expression of boredom would be, “Well, go find something to do!” But this response is not productive because it does not provide any positive direction. It is important to ask whether it is wrong to be bored. Let’s attempt to answer this question from a positive perspective. Here are three points to consider: The Holy Spirit commands that everything you do should be done for the glory and wonder of God with a […]
The Apostle Paul in I Corinthians 13:5 exposes three patterns that are the enemy of loving your children. These patterns bring anger, frustration and brokenness. They are also connected; one leads to the other. Let’s look at each one: Love is not self-seeking It is foolish to assume that what pleases you and what pleases God are one and the same. For example, do you want a house that is quiet and orderly? Why? Because that is pleasant to you? Or do you want a house full of energy and exuberance? Again, why? If your goal is to satisfy your own preferences and personality, you are not setting an example of love. The goals you set for your home must […]
“How many times have I told you not to do that?!?” “Stop doing that, right now!” “Why can’t you obey and do just this one thing?” “You know that you are not supposed to do that!” “If I hear you say that one more time!!” “One thing, why can’t you do just this one thing?!?” Do these statements sound familiar? They are uttered, muttered, shouted and pouted when your child just doesn’t seem to get the point: why can’t she just obey! They are statements of frustration and vexation. The focus is on stopping or changing a particular action. But is the particular act of disobedience the real core of the problem? Actually, this focus on stopping a particular act […]
The Holy Spirit wants you, commands you to center your thoughts and actions on putting God first in your life. Specifically how does he want you to implement his calling to put God first? He instructed Solomon to urge you to guard your heart, because it is the source of your life. Then he directs Paul to tell you to be in constant prayer and that everything you do should bring honor to God. Few would argue that you should put God first, but how do you practically make that happen? Here is a prayer that if you have the courage to pray it faithfully will make a huge difference in your relationship with God. Dear God, please make […]
Being a parent is a consuming job. The unexpected and unplanned for circumstances just keep on coming. It is ironic that In the rush of Christmas, Christ can become distant. In Psalm 73, the psalmist had become overwhelmed with the seeming futility of following God. Survival mode had become the norm. But here is the reality that the crush of daily life can obscure—Jesus is right there with you in the middle of the mess of your life! Trusting Christ in the rush of life is what gives stability to your soul. He has brought together all of the events, frustrations and demands of your life to point you to him. Jesus is not some distant bystander. He is there […]