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Archive for the 'Teenagers' Category

I’m fat

Posted on April 6th, 2017 · Posted in Culture, Teenagers

Your 13 year old daughter, whom you think could gain a few pounds, has just announced to you, “I’m fat.” You are really puzzled so you say, “No way, you’re fat. Why would you even say that?” With eyes that show grim determination, she says, “Mom, you don’t get it. Compared to everyone at school, I’m fat. I need to lose weight. I can’t keep going to school like this. Look at me, I’m all puffy!” “Sarah, that’s ridiculous! You’re not fat. You’re healthy. Don’t be controlled by such silly.. read more

Parents, where is your heart?

Posted on February 20th, 2017 · Posted in Teenagers, World View

Jesus makes a huge point of not placing too much value on the treasures of earth. Christ is not saying that these earthly treasures hold no attraction. He is not making light of the really special things that our life here has to offer. If these things didn’t have value, Christ would not have called them treasures. But what Jesus wants you to know is that the treasures of heaven far exceed the treasures earth has to offer. So how do Christ’s words apply to your children? Are you focusing.. read more

Rotten intentions

Posted on February 10th, 2017 · Posted in Communication, Parenting, Teenagers

When there is interpersonal conflict we are often discouraged because our intentions are misunderstood. What we must remember is that our intentions don’t count. The person you are talking with is not a mind reader. What matters is how are our thoughts perceived. An intention that does not translate into being a benefit to someone is a rotten intention. Ephesians 4:29 Don’t let a single rotten word come from your mouths, but rather, whatever is good for constructively meeting problems that arise, so that your words may help those who.. read more

Physical beauty and biblical sexual attraction

Posted on January 28th, 2017 · Posted in Parenting, Ruling Desires, Teenagers

  There is a difference between physical beauty and biblical sexual attraction. Physical beauty is on display to be admired by all who observe it. The Holy Spirit describes the beauty of Job’s daughters this way: “Nowhere in all the land were there found women as beautiful as Job’s daughters, and their father granted them an inheritance along with their brothers.” Physical beauty can and should be appreciated by many. But sexual attraction is only for one’s marriage partner. Sexual attraction outside of marriage will lead to lust and, eventually,.. read more

Only wisdom will protect your teenagers

Posted on January 23rd, 2017 · Posted in Teenagers, Wisdom

Biblical wisdom is designed to protect lives. As the Proverbs teach, the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, fools despise wisdom. Wisdom is not neutral or passive. Wisdom thrives on passion and love for God. Wisdom without passion is useless. Joseph demonstrated a passionate love for wisdom when Potiphar’s wife attempted to seduce him. The woman provocatively grabbed Joseph’s clothing with such force that it was clear that only one thing was on her mind. Joseph’s response was also swift and passionate. He tore himself away, leaving her.. read more

How to love your children

Posted on January 17th, 2017 · Posted in Parenting, Teenagers, Wisdom

I Corinthians 13 has some important things to say about how love your kids in a way that blesses them and brings honor to God. Here are some examples: Love is patient That is what Paul means in Ephesians 6:4 when he calls upon fathers not to provoke their children to anger. This means that love is not a knee-jerk reaction when things don’t go well. Loving your children means understanding them and anticipating how obedience to your direction will be a challenge for them. Don’t be frustrated with their.. read more

Your teenager is caught in the tug-of-war of life

Posted on January 9th, 2017 · Posted in Communication, Teenagers

It is important not to miss the struggles your teenager faces each day. She is often functioning without immediate and constant parental supervision. New and sometimes dangerous influences enter his life. This is the scary part. It is no secret that sex, drugs, pornography, bullying and gambling have all made their way into the teenage world. So what can you do to shepherd your teenager without giving them a lie detector test each afternoon and attaching a body cam and GPS to them? Here is one answer: Become an epic.. read more

Who is in control, your teenager or God?

Posted on December 29th, 2016 · Posted in Communication, Teenagers

What causes stress with your teenager? The easy answer is that if your teenager was more respectful, if he would just do half of the things you asked, if she would actually listen, if you mattered half as much as the phone, things would not be so stressful. Of course there are some things that you need to work on, but the bottom line is your teenager specializes in making life difficult. The problem here is the assumption that the teenager is in control. Everything is dependent upon the teenager.. read more

The power of a soft heart

Posted on August 22nd, 2016 · Posted in Parenting, Teenagers

Josiah became King of Judah when he was eight years old. At the time, Judah could not have been more of a spiritual and cultural disaster.  Manasseh and his son, Amon, had just concluded 57 of perverse years of leadership. Manasseh set a new standard of wickedness during his reign and his son, Amon, picked up where his father left off. These were dark, dark times. Amon had been king just two years when he was assassinated. Apparently, the people had had enough. They made his young son, Josiah, king… read more

Absalom: a window into your teenager’s heart

Posted on July 23rd, 2016 · Posted in Anger, Teenagers

Absalom projected the image of power and intimidation. He was angry, arrogant, proud, self-assured and had the presence of a rock star. He was consumed with his appearance to the point of obsession. But inside he was hurting. He had no answer for the pain in his heart due to the rape of his sister. He had no comfort for the lack of relationship with his father, King David. He had no confidence in the loving-kindness of God; rather, he was convinced he had to make his own way in.. read more

Teenagers: listen first, talk later

Posted on July 2nd, 2016 · Posted in Authority, Communication, Teenagers

Jesus tells the story of a father and his two sons. The father asks his first son to go work in the vineyard. The first son responds with a defiant no. So, the father asks his other son the same question.  This son, in sharp contrast, respectfully says that he will do what his father asked. So, on the surface of things, it appears one son is rebellious and one is obedient. This much is true, but not in the way it appears. In the story Jesus quickly adds that.. read more

Driving through cyber-space

Posted on June 8th, 2016 · Posted in Culture, Social Media, Teenagers, Wisdom

Most would agree that social media and the internet are places where dangers lurk. So it might be tempting to say the solution is to avoid cyber-space altogether. But that would be unwise. Consider this. Driving a vehicle is also fraught with dangers. There are unsafe drivers in abundance. Driving to places of temptation is always an option. One’s self-image and self-worth can easily attached to the type of vehicle driven. Lack of attention can cause loss of property, injury and even death! The unexpected is always around the next.. read more

Reasoning with temptation – not a good idea

Posted on May 11th, 2016 · Posted in Communication, Teenagers

Being lonely is a dangerous. Being lonely and misunderstood is a train-wreck waiting to happen. It is huge that you take the time to know your children. Especially your teenagers. Here is an example of a young woman who was both lonely and misunderstood. Her problems didn’t start in college, but had roots in her younger teen years. She looked like she was doing well – but underneath she was lonely, wanting to be known. She wasn’t prepared for temptation that came from a “safe” place. This combination will allow.. read more

Preparing for the unexpected

Posted on March 9th, 2016 · Posted in Culture, Parenting, Teenagers

Your ten-year-old son picks up the daily newspaper left laying on the kitchen table. No one has had an opportunity to actually read the paper yet. Your son finds a front page article on sex and TV, complete with enticing photos, and reads about new shows with group sex and nudity. Try to put yourself in his place. Your son needs a game plan about how to handle this information in a way that pleases God and protects him. This situation is exactly what Proverbs 6:20-24 envisions when it describes.. read more

An interview with your teenager

Posted on February 23rd, 2016 · Posted in Communication, Teenagers

Suppose someone interviewed your teenager immediately after the two of you had a difficult conversation. What would he say? Would he say that you listened to him respectfully, wanting to fully understand him before you answered? Would she say that you showed thoughtful care for her concerns? Would your teenager say that the words you used were pleasant, encouraging and kind? Most importantly, would your teenager say your words were spoken with humility? Would your teenager think he was the most important person in the conversation? At this point someone.. read more

Talking with your teenage son about pornography

Posted on February 8th, 2016 · Posted in Discipline, Teenagers

You just confirmed that your fifteen-year-old son, Justin, has been looking at pornography. Following is an example of a conversation that demonstrates what I Corinthians 13:4-7 looks like in action. See how many positive attributes of love you can find in Dad’s conversation. “Justin, we have to talk about the images you were viewing on the computer.” “Dad, I really don’t want to and I am not going to – it is really none of your business.” “I think I understand why you would say that. I didn’t want to.. read more

Do you have the courage to be gentle?

Posted on February 4th, 2016 · Posted in Anger, Proverbs and the Gospel, Teenagers

A gentle response to an angry or defiant act seems weak and out of place. The Holy Spirit has a different perspective: A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1 The Hebrew word for gentle here means the quality of being tender, soft, delicate in substance. This is not exactly the first response that comes to mind when someone you know or your teenager opposes you. There are two natural responses when this happens. Both are equally wrong and destructive. The first is.. read more

Why do you fight with your teenager?

Posted on December 28th, 2015 · Posted in Communication, Teenagers, Wisdom

Why do you fight with your teenager? The answer is obvious, right? If your teenager was more respectful, if he would just do half of the things you asked, if she would actually listen, if you mattered half as much as the phone…? Of course there are some things that you need to work on, but the bottom line is your teenager specializes in making life difficult, right??? The problem with this scenario is that this parent is acting like her teenager is in control. Everything is dependent upon the.. read more

An ordinary girl

Posted on December 21st, 2015 · Posted in Gospel, Holidays, Teenagers

Mary, the mother of Jesus Christ, unexpectedly came face-to-face with the angel Gabriel. Mary was a young woman, quite possibly a teen-ager. To say that she was startled and taken aback would be a huge understatement. But Gabriel comforts her and then with a few spoken words turned her life upside down. She was going to become a mother. She was told her child would grow up to take the throne of King David and that his kingdom would have no end. This was not an ordinary conversation. Gabriel was.. read more

Teenagers: The image of power, the reality of fear

Posted on October 22nd, 2015 · Posted in Anger, Gospel, Teenagers

Teenagers are often like Absalom. They present an image of arrogance and power. Yet inside they are hurting. Parents see the power but not the hurt. They may become intimidated and fearful—or angry—at the images their teenagers project. An angry teen is at odds with the God of heaven, and therefore lives with a desperate need for contentment—but he doesn’t know why. Absalom was powerful, handsome, arrogant, winsome and popular. This was the image that he projected and cultivated. However, the image he displayed was not consistent with who he.. read more