Loving God enough to end rage, anger, inner seething, and resentment is not a matter of simply saying no to bad behavior. If you or your children have been controlled by patterns of anger, there is only one way to address this attitude of the heart that will bring lasting change. When anger becomes a way of life you know It is wrong. You can deeply want to change. You know your anger hurts others. But just knowing these facts will not remove anger from your heart and life. In the last post we looked at Ephesians 4:31 and 32 as a model for addressing anger. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with […]
Monthly Archives: March 2013
34 posts
Sometimes the deceitfulness of the world, the flesh, and the devil entices us to feel good about our anger. So when a child, a teenager, a spouse, or a friend crosses an arbitrary line we feel totally justified in letting them “have it.” We cover our sin by saying, “I know I shouldn’t be angry, but sometimes you just have to say enough is enough.” This sort of language and rationalization will receive a hearty Amen from the Satanic cheering section. We think we have been strong, when in fact we have taken the coward’s way out and indulged in capitulation. The same plan worked on Eve and it is just as effective with angry parents. We do what seems […]
Love is not for the faint of heart. Jesus Christ is the example of what love is. Parents are to follow that example. The love of Christ is contrary to what is natural. The love of Christ means we are to be in a constant state of war with the enemy of our souls. Love strikes at the heart of the enemy. Love is living for Christ instead of ourselves. Love is self-denial. Love puts the welfare of others above our own interests. To love is to follow Christ. It is this love that will tear down the gates of hell. Your children must be won to Christ. They cannot be won if you are spectators in the […]
You have found out your teenager is caught in pornography. How should you respond? Yes, he has been disobedient. Yes, he has been disrespectful. Yes, pornography is nasty stuff and ungodly at its core. But he, or she, has been trashed and played by lies that deceive and cheapen his very soul. Pornography runs deep, straight to the heart. Your teenager knows that he has been wrong. But he has also been played for a fool. No, he is not a victim. Pornography, was his own wretched choice. But simply telling him he was wrong, imposing consequences, and being personally hurt is exactly what the enemy wants you to do. As Colossians 2:23 teaches these actions, by themselves, are of […]
Pornography, above all the other horrific damage that it inflicts, is a lie. All temptations are based upon lies. Temptations are lies that cannot deliver what they promise. Pornography is right at the top of the list of the lies Satan tells. This is what your middle-school aged children and your teenagers must realize about pornography – it is a lie. It is not necessary to explain all the graphic garbage about pornography to teach this truth to your children. Pornography is Satan’s attempt to bypass marriage in order to gain sexual pleasure. In Satan’s world pornography is the replacement for marriage. Just as Satan offered Eve and Christ alternatives to God’s command, he is offering your children an alternative […]
Do you pray for God’s will to be done or yours? To pray effectively, in a way that honors God as hallowed, we must pray that God’s purpose and plan must prevail and not our own. The reality is that we often come to God when we have a problem. Our problem and our solution to the problem dominates our prayer. This is not good. It is vitally important to realize that the solution to our concerns lies not in our understanding of what is best, but in God’s understanding of what is best. If God is our heavenly father, if he is the King, then it is his plan, his rule that you should desire above your own. […]
As we saw in the last post, manipulation of behavior obscures the beauty of the gospel. Manipulation also builds walls that relationships cannot penetrate. So, instead of identifying with our children in their battle with sin, we stand apart from them and critique their failures. We may even discipline faithfully. But if we discipline without coming along side our kids and showing them that their struggles are the same as ours, we hide the gospel. In the previous post Tedd Tripp used the issue of selfishness to show how you can connect with your children and make the gospel practically real to them. Using his thoughts as a guide consider how many ways you can identify with your children […]
Shaming our children is hypocrisy. That, of course, is where I will always end up when I am trying to manipulate behavior. If, however, I deal with the heart, I will no longer be hypocritically distanced from my son. I can stand in solidarity with him and his struggles with selfishness. I can put my arm around him and say, “I understand what you are experiencing. I understand selfishness. Dad has his own struggles with being selfish.” I am not excusing selfishness as okay since I am selfish too. Rather, I am simply identifying with this common struggle with sin. Not only do I understand the struggle, I know where I must go with my struggles with selfishness. I […]
Jehoshaphat and Peer Pressure – Part 2 God Blesses a Foolish & Stupid King The narrative of King Jehoshaphat and King Ahab in 2 Chronicles 18 provides insight into the dynamics of peer pressure. When you or your children yield to peer pressure you are, in effect, dividing your loyalties between God and man. This double-mindedness simply does not work. It results in decision making that is not sound. Many sins that young people become entangled with begin when they yield to peer pressure. The story of King Jehoshaphat demonstrates that young people are not the only ones susceptible to this problem. As we noted in the last post, Jehoshaphat should have realized that forming an alliance with […]
One of the more remarkable examples of peer pressure or fear of man found in the Bible is the story of Jehoshaphat and King Ahab in 2 Chronicles 18. The Spirit is God was gracious to provide such a clear and vivid account of the dynamics of peer pressure. There is much you can use in the chapter to teach your children about this all too common tendency of making the opinion of others more important than the opinion of God. Jehoshaphat, king of Judah, began his reign by faithfully following God. He was blessed with riches and honor. However, chapter 18 records that instead of continuing to trust God for protection, he formed an alliance with King Ahab […]